Let me share a story with you…

Once upon a time, there was a king who never wore shoes. He was forever bruising and scraping his royal feet, finally one day, completely exasperated with this problem, he turned to his trusty minister and ordered: “I want you to carpet the entire kingdom by tomorrow morning, or it’s off with your head!”

The poor minister sat up half the night thinking about this impossible task, it seemed that he would surely lose his head next morning. Buy after a lot of thinking,  just as the sun began to rise, his fear turned to joy. He had an idea. Bouncing from his bed, he ran to the royal carpetorium.

When the king woke up the next morning he jumped quickly out of bed and went straight to the royal window to view his carpet covered kingdom. Seeing not one inch of carpet anywhere he began bellowing for the minister roaring wildly. “Minister, Where’s my minister? I’ll have his head!”

At that very moment, the minister appeared at the king’s door clutching a pair of very foreign objects in his hands. “Oh your highness, please be so kind as to try these first,” he begged. The king agreed, and in the wink of an eye the minister slipped a  pair of carpet slippers onto the king’s royal feet.

Instantly the king’s anger turned to delight. Shuffling around the room with the softness of the finest carpet in the kingdom beneath his feet, all he could do was smile with every step.

What that has to do with effective listening? Everything. You see, effective listening doesn’t mean just hearing what the other person is saying – effective listening is about understanding what the other person really would like  to say, looking for hidden messages, seeking for the core of their problem.  The minister in this story realized that the kings’ real problem was not the carpet but his feet.   – In real estate you find yourself in many situations where merely changing the point of view will present entirely different possibilities. But of course it all starts with listening…

The most successful top producers understand that active, empathetic listening is the key to good communication. They know that The Best Way To Get People To Pay Attention To You Is To Pay Attention To Them.  That means listening to others — not only hearing them…  Because just like in the story of the king who loved carpet, in real estate very often people are not even aware of what their true problem or dilemma is, let alone communicate that problem to you clearly….

So, how are you doing in the department of listening? You cannot listen to what someone is saying when you are preoccupied with your own appearance, or concentrating on impressing the other person,  or when you are debating whether what is  being said is true … or  even worse…. when you are trying to decide what you are going to say when the other person will stop talking….

Do you ever find yourself falling into one of these poor listening habits: – rushing someone in conversation,  getting ahead of the speaker and finishing his or her thoughts, listening only for facts, not taking notes, allowing emotionally charged words to block the message…  asking too many questions  ( I know, his might surprise you but asking too many questions tends to be very distracting and annoying)

If you have trouble listening, you are not alone. More and more business studies prove that listening is a top skill needed for success in business – especially in sales — but sadly,  most of us  don’t have a clue how to listen effectively. We’re taught how to read, how to write and how to speak, but rarely how to listen.  It is estimated that less than 2% of us had formal educational experience with listening. 

Formal education? Yes, formal education. Listening skills can – and should – be learned,  practiced and mastered.  There are special listening courses — years ago I took a three day seminar on effective listening and it literally changed my life.  The good news is that you don’t have to take a 3 day course to change your poor listening habits. In almost every community (at least in the United States)  you will find adult education centers with some decent  two hour class on effective listening. Take it.  I guarantee, it will be one of your best investments.

In one of my favorite stories,  The Jungle Book  – Mowgli  says   "The jungle speaks to me because I know how to listen."…

Please remember that success in real estate depends on your ability to understand your client needs and adapting your services to meet their needs.  Make sure that  you listen carefully …  It’s amazing what you can learn when you really really listen, and when you encourage your clients and potential clients to talk.  By listening effectively you will avoid misunderstandings and at the same time you will strengthen your relationships.  As a result some of the most difficult transactions will flow very smoothly instead of falling apart just before closing and your clients will become not only satisfied but .. happy. And that means less stress for everyone and more closed transactions for you in the future.